I Don't Cry Over Yesterday
There is a part of me that feels slightly guilty as a mother. Guilty because I don’t mourn for the loss of yesterday, the passing of today, and the coming of tomorrow. Oh, I reminisce and sigh contentedly with my sweet memories of yesterday, but I am not sad. I will not mourn my children’s growth. If anything, I rejoice in their growth. Growth, milestones, and independence excite me. Yes, I am the mother who transitioned her firstborn from crib to toddler bed at 15 months. And if you thought that was crazy, I transitioned my second-born at 11 months. They were ready for growth. I don’t cry about or mourn the loss of the crib and their babyhood. And as I pack away their baby things and take down baby gates one by one as we begin to leave the baby stage, I sigh contentedly with my memories and smile—I love each new leap in their growth and independence.
As their mother, it is my job to facilitate their growth, not to lock them into what I loved about yesterday. I cannot stop the passing of time. It is a fact of life that we have only today; yesterday has passed and tomorrow is not guaranteed. I cannot stop them from growing older, but I can savor where we are today. I can revel in the firsts, and savor the precious lasts. Mourning the loss of yesterday simply robs today of its joys.
I refuse to let yesterday rob me of the joy today brings as a mom. Yes, I still remember, reminisce, and take joy in those moments of yesterday. I still sigh at how quickly time passes, but I have no time for sadness over what was because I am too busy delighting with them in what is. This is life. I am excited to see their growth, their maturity; and I am excited to be the one who gets to take their hands and guide them in growth today. We are living fully today, and I suppose that is no reason to feel guilty.
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