His Mercies are New Every Morning

His Mercies are New Every Morning - An Everyday Mom

My heart is reflective tonight and I want to share with you. I haven't blogged much this month because life is currently full of transitions. Full of goodbyes and hellos, full of laughter and tears, and full of anticipation for a new season. And in the midst of this happy and sad chaos, I got thrown a curve ball. The type that tries to distract and fill your heart with fear.

Fear runs through my family line you see, and I've made alliances with fear many times. Fear often promises comfort, protection, and control, but it is always a sham. It never delivers. And I've found the fears that motherhood brings with it are a whole new ballgame. Fears for myself are one thing . . . but my fears for my children are often stronger. Can you relate?

"To be honest, I think he has a heart murmur. I want you to get him an echocardiogram to check it out." The words hit me heavy, but I sighed an "ok". My mind raced, but I tried to silence the fears.

I've been down this road before. I shared in part of the heart problems I dealt with during my pregnancy with him. My mind flashed back to the follow-up phone call after my EKG and echocardiogram . . .

"Well, it looks like you have a hole in your heart. We are sending you to a cardiologist right away. But don't worry about it. Merry Christmas! Goodbye." Click. Don't worry about it she said. Don't worry about it as my heart continues to race out of the blue while I am simply relaxing. Don't worry about it as it continues to feel like I can't catch my breath. Don't worry about it as my blood pressure continues to go nuts. Don't worry about it while I am carrying our second child.

The script came to get his echocardiogram scheduled and I silenced the fears. This little boy has already conquered so much, and I know the Lord uses his testimony. Should the worst results come, I know the Lord will carry us through.

I called and they got us in within the week. "Thank you for your mercies Lord, I'm glad we won't have to wait long to get in."

The "what-ifs" came and I pushed them away as best I could. The fear taunted, "But what if there is something wrong? What if you get the results you don't want to hear? You know you aren't strong enough to watch him go through the worse case scenario."

To the "what-ifs" I countered with His mercies.

If there is something wrong He would see us through.

I'm not strong enough to watch my precious boy go through a worse-case scenario, but I know the great I AM.

And I know the meaning of my son's name is truth. His life has declared it loudly thus far . . . and if the Lord takes us down that path, He would see us through. "Who is like the Lord? He is gracious!"

His appointment was today. In typical fashion, he handled his tests like a pro. This is the child who needed blood drawn at 4 months old and chatted with everyone during the procedure. He's tough, he's been through a lot and he is a strong boy. I thanked God for His mercies . . . if we needed to walk a hard road, I knew it would be easier with this child.

"Alright, go waitin the room and the Dr will come give you the results!"

This seems trivial, but it was a smile from God to me. I fully expected to wait a week or more to hear anything back. To one prone to worry, this was a gift.

The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I have hope in Him.” -Lamentations 3:22-24

She came in and examined him. She explained that everything looked great and he is one healthy little boy. She said he appeared to have a small hole in his heart, but it was nothing they would be concerned about. The murmur would probably come and go . . . but it was nothing to be concerned with. It would be our first and last visit to their office. I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank you Lord.

But what if the outcome had been different?

I know I would have struggled. But I am certain in the knowledge that He is gracious. I am certain that He "tenderly leads those that have young" (Isaiah 40:11). I am certain He would have seen us through. I am certain that He loves my little boy more than I. And who am I to stand in the way if He had wanted to use his little life as a testimony to His mercy and grace? It wouldn't have been easy, but I've seen His grace.

If you haven't struggled with fear, this post means nothing to you. But if you have, may I encourage you to rest in His promises when the fears and the what-ifs plague you? Look back at things He has led you through and know He will lead you now.

Fear cannot stay when trust is present. -An Everyday Mom

What helped me silence the fears for my son these last couple weeks? We've walked this road before. I had appointments and tests. My heart continued to race randomly, my blood pressure continued to spike at rest, and I continued to have spells I couldn't catch my breath. And my church family continued to pray for me. Slowly the problems disappeared and I carried my little boy to term. At my last cardiologist appointment, they told me they found no evidence of a hole. I know He has led, and I know He will continue to lead.

Fear cannot stay when trust is present. And truth is the weapon that frees us from fear and allows us to trust. The truth is He is ever-present. The truth is He loves us. He cares for us as we do our own children. Have you ever just rested in that thought? The truth is, He is in control of this whole thing anyway. He sees the beginning from the end. The truth is His promises are true and He has never proven untrustworthy.

To my fellow moms struggling with fear, may truth be our weapon. May truth sink into our minds and into our hearts. May trust in the One who tenderly leads us take the place of fear. May we become women who boldly proclaim His grace and mercies in the midst of joys and also in heartache. May we become women who rest in His mercies and compassions . . . they are new every morning.

Fear cannot stay when trust is present.

He who hath led will lead All through the wilderness He who hath fed will surely feed . . . He who hath heard the cry Will never close His ear, He who hath marked thy faintest sigh Will not forget thy tear. He loveth always, faileth never, So rest in Him today – forever. -Catherine Carmichael

{Post linked at The Deliberate Mom}

Be encouraged,

Carrie

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